It’s hard to remember the details. The images are in my head but I can’t find words to describe them. Her hair was red and we ended up getting along really well.
Somewhere down the hole we fell into a land of stolen memories. Every name hung on a wall etched in wood with a small token of their being. We were lost and trapped.
Before the fall, I remember friends entertaining under a large pavilion. Playing some sort of game which only exists in this world.
Would anyone believe the journey I went on like it was just a dream? No one did. I exclaimed it was real.
I searched for the companion I found down in that hole. Around a familiar neighborhood, I found her in a large windowed house. She didn’t want to see me, but eventually gave in.
I faded from black and felt the warmth of the pillow beneath my face.
Laying still, I tried to remember. Minutes passed and the memory faded. If only it was a world that could continue on at will.
Focus on the little pieces and let the bigger picture come together naturally. When you try and focus on the overall goal you realize you don’t have the right pieces and limit yourself from enjoying or making the right choices in the small run. As you focus on the little things it creates an image not thought of by your mind but shaped through the decision you make and small goals you achieve. You realize that an outcome you thought would be ideal is vastly in-superior to the quality of what was created by taking the small chances at life and not worrying about the future.
I stepped on the crisp autumn leaves as I walked up to the tree. This was the highest point on the hill that overlooked the northern city. The sun was just transitioning into setting mode and the light began to warm up. I zipped up my jacket as a cool breeze blew through stirring up the leaves around me. I looked on examining the town scape.
I saw the familiar roads and landmarks of my past. Memories flooded my head and escaped in a sigh. I leaned against the tree and crossed my arms. The air was getting cooler. I filled my lungs with the cool but slightly damp air analyzing every smell. Pausing before I exhaled, I looked at the sun. The air was full of my breath and quickly disappeared.
Vibrant colors began to paint the sky when the sun hid behind the clouds just about the horizon. Thy symphony of light played across the landscape as electricity flooded throughout the town. Headlights were wandering about as if in a maze. The day was beginning to tie together just to unravel in the morning.
Winter was beginning to show it’s face. My jacket wasn’t thick enough for the front coming in. It was time to leave. The hike down wasn’t long. When I reached my car, I hopped in and blasted the heater. Resuming the heater to sub-furnace temps, I drove off away from the city, into the hills, and towards the twilight of another day.
Air rushes through my gaping mouth and my eyelids turn red from the sun shining through them as I broke the surface. I dare not open them for water was still spilling over my face. The sun gradually released it’s power against my face, warming my skin as the film of water beaded into drops off my chin. I open my eyes slightly to see a twinkle of the bright sphere through my still wet eyelashes. I wince and close them again but quickly open them fully to face the overpowering star.
Everything is white and I let out sigh.
–
I didn’t realize a rushing stream a few feet deep could sweep me off my feet. I was hiking a mountain trail through thick green wood stepping over freshly fallen pine needles. A few miles in, I came upon a small stream leading away from a glorious waterfall. The air was slightly cooler near the waters and filled with the sound of turbulent war between liquids and solids. It wasn’t as pleasing as I had hoped. Just further ahead was my destination, a small overlook that broke through the impenetrable forest.
Fish eased by as I peered into the crystal flow. The creek bed felt closer to me than it was. I stepped forward to the edge. Twisting, I stepped with my right foot past the bank and into the bitter water. Just as I reached the bottom, the weak rooted grass crumbled beneath my left foot and into the water. My arms were reaching to the clouds hoping grasp their billowy faces when my face was washed with the waters surface.
Everything was black and I held my breath.
–
I looked over to my rescuer and asked, “How did you know?”
“I know myself.” She replied staring at me with eyes I could feel in my soul.
Close my eyes again,
Open my heart to Your voice,
Peace and joy are found.
I lost track of how long I’ve been running. The trees look the same as when I started, yet it feels as if I’m miles away. Each step pounding in the final nail of my decision. I can’t turn back now. Not with what I left behind waiting for me. I must continue on. I must not stop.
My thoughts were unfolding as the path in front of me broke free from the wood. Why is it so easy to breathe now that I’m away from the dark lifeless monoliths? The air is light and around me an expanse of waist high grass damp from the morning dew swayed in wind.
Slowing to a walk, cresting a hill, I cut off into field towards a lone tree. The sun is high and I need shade. My body feels light and my mind drifts off swiftly once lay in the shade.
Awake, I arise.
“I hope it was a dream,” I say to myself. Leaning against the tree, I look at the sky through the web of branches. My chest lowers with a sigh. I look back at the direction I came from and see the trodden path I made in the grass. “Maybe it wasn’t,” I whisper as I push off from the tree and take a few steps forwards into the sunlight. “I guess this is what I have now.”
Walking away, I wonder what I really escaped from.
I could hear the waves crashing beneath me. I could feel the power of each wave. My sight was limited to dimly lit street corners and the starlight from above.
The walk was a quite one this night. The stuffed up studio was beginning to feel stale. I needed air. My usual path was calling.
Further ahead was a bench slightly damp from the ocean mist but glistened from a lone streetlight which seemed to hover high above. It faced the endless waters just meters from the edge.
Sitting, I looked out into the endless black pulling thoughts from the waves as they crashed. The darkness was blinding. My vision was useless here. I listened more to the rant of the waters below.
I froze as time continued its relentless journey through the night and into twilight. It was then I took a deep breath as I felt the first ray of morning sun warm the back of my shoulders.
I walked outside to find the ground covered in leaves. The sunlight reflected off the vibrant hues of the season. Dusk was here. Walking further, I crunched the leaves under my boots. The sound echoed off into the brisk wind. I looked ahead to see what I expected.
The jacket was black with a matte finish but not too dull. It blended with the rest of the attire. The man clothed in this was hidden behind the shadow of his hat. I was blinded slightly from the sun lighting his back.
It was just a couple days ago I received word he was coming, but I didn’t realize it would be the day I finally notice it feeling like fall. Summer suddenly felt so far away.
Pull me out of this hole. Drag me to water and let me drink. My thirst is strong. Bury my hunger with food of thought and comfort. Fill me up with peace. Retrace the steps of mine and plant new greens. Cover the path that led me astray. Dig up a new shelter for confidence. Light the canopy so that the shadows will overcome distractions. In the darkness, hide the lie. Take my hand, lift me up, and pull me through. Break free from the brush. I long for solid ground. My body trembles with vertigo. I walk with cautious steps.
The mist is soft on my face. The sand is soft underneath my feet. The air is cool to my body. The sun is warm to my soul.
It pours in over the hilltops covering the landscape of thought.
I never enjoyed exploring this territory in my mind. It always has surprises and traps waiting for me. The map I use for navigation is out-dated and the compass misaligned. Why do I even venture out here? I never find anything except lost memories. I guess I know what I’m looking for is in a place I can’t see…
The sun rises and burns through revealing conscious thought.
There’ll be a time when I know. Where I pushed myself through the night of subconscious is nowhere I may have expected but hoped for.
The morning is cold.